Kinship

I recently read Tattoos on the Heart by Fr. Gregory Boyle of Homeboy Industries. "G" dedicated one chapter to the concept of kinship. As a priest, Fr. Boyle has said last rites for over 200 young people who have been a part of Homeboy Industries. Many times he has been the bearer of sad news to the mothers of young men who have been killed in some aspect of gang related violence. Grieving with friends and the family 200 times is an example of kinship. Perhaps kinship on speed, but you get the idea.

As I read this chapter, I thought of teachers I know who have this kinship with their students. What is kinship? We read a lot about caring from Nel Noddings. Caring is a good thing, but kinship has to go further. I believe that when you share certain experiences you develop kinship with your students. Erin Gruel has a kinship with the Freedom Writers because she encouraged her students to write about their lives. She read their stories and honored the courage it took to share. Jeff Duncan-Andrade lives in the neighborhood with his students. They know he's there for them, as he knows they are also there for him. I know of a teacher in Tucson who attends the games, tournaments, recitals, performances of his students. He makes time in his life to be involved with his students outside the classroom. He also has a way with teaching math that is very effective.

Several years ago I asked David Stovall about white teachers in Chicago schools. He replied, "We don't need any missionaries." I understood what he meant, but until I read the Boyle chapter on kinship I didn't have a way to express it. Today I asked him about kinship. He said that teachers who look at their students with the "lens of pity" don't get it. Tyrone Howard who was on the same panal added that teachers need to find themselves in the students. He added that they also need to take time to care. Do your students need a ride home after school? Do they have a pen to do their work?

When we decide to be teachers, we want our students to like us. Teaching should not be a job where we punch a clock. The time we spend getting to know our students, giving our time over and above what our contracts demand, leads to kinship. Coaches know this. Classroom teachers need to work on this. It's not that our students like us, but that they know we sincerely like them.